#StartupLife

I’m over vulnerability… but all for resilience

They say that personal messaging today is all about honesty, transparency and vulnerability. ​People love those kinds of pieces and heap praise and emojis on the authors (you’re being so honest about feeling run down and overwhelmed — I totally relate, I so admire you!) 🤢

I’ve always found them ​tedious. They feel like projections for the purposes of connection. The startup equivalent of a humble-brag… look at me, I’m so vulnerable and that makes me strong… now please validate my feelings.

As such people are increasingly defined by their vulnerability, seeking approval for insecurity.

To me it feels like bull$hit.

Not the being vulnerable and overwhelmed, but the need to incessantly share it… not for support or advice but for a bunch of likes.

Because we all have moments of feelings overwhelmed. Forget moments, we have days of these emotions and likely we have them many times a week (if you’re a first time founder you probably have days suffering with what my mother calls “startup bipolar” where your mood swings between “I’m awesome” and “I’m useless” so fast you get whiplash!!!)

Feeling overwhelmed is part of the journey and it’s time to own that truth.

Feeling lost is how we know how to be found — owning our confusion and worry and discomfort and uncertainty is what separates us from those living life’s of quiet desperation

We live our desperation out loud… and then we overcome.

I feel this desperation, I write about it, but have never shared it — until today.

yep… that’s about right!

But I share it not as a tale of vulnerability, but one of persistence, determination, resilience and being “anti-fragile”.

I share it for only one reason — because I gave it to someone yesterday who felt better for not feeling so alone after reading it. He read my moment of vulnerability as a reason to persevere. If his response had been anything else I would have filed this missive with the thousands of others in a drawer which has never been opened by anyone but me.

So while my opinions about self-indulgent vulnerability writing hasn’t changed, I’m leaning into sharing in the hope it makes you realise that giving yourself permission to quit is often all you need to never give up. Enjoy…

If I fill it they send me another — I’m 30% of the way through

Today is one of those days. A quitting day

A day when I’m lost and don’t know how to make it work. I don’t know how to move forward.

A day I lose faith in myself — I lose faith in everyone. I don’t know which way to look or the words to say to make it better

I’m tired. Exhausted. Lost in the wind. No rudder, no compass. No idea where to look

So what would I tell me? What would I say if I asked myself for advice?

I’d say take the evening off. I’d say order a takeaway and eat some ice cream. Go to bed early and ignore the work. I’d say tomorrow will be better. It always is. The mission is pure, the vision true and you’ve been here before

And that my friends is the crux of the matter

You’ve been here before

You’ll be here again

It’s the nature of the beast — it’s the lay of the land. It’s what taking the path less travelled is all about. It’s what going to war against the mundane and the always-was looks like.

It’s why you decided to fight this battle — because you had to — your heart demanded it, your soul would accept nothing less.

I would ask — are your ready to quit?

And I’d respond “hell no”

Because I’m not.

A time may come to call it a day

But it is not this day

A day may come when I can’t fight anymore and lose hope in my mission, lose faith in myself — a day may come when I lose heart

But it is not this day

The day may come — but it hasn’t come yet

Today was a bad day — but it’s not a bad life

Today felt like a hopeless day — but it’s not a helpless mission

Today was an overwhelming day but I am not overwhelmed

Today is a day of growth, of remembering how it could be. Today is a day of learning, of rejoicing in what is.

Today is Tuesday and Wednesday will be better